I have always been amazed over people or in this case guys saying that “Naa man I don’t like to cook” or “No I can’t cook and why should I when mum or my wife does”…
But let’s get down to the nittygritty of this whole scene.
You can spoon up the food from the plate and pick up the glass of water and drink it, but you don’t have the energy to make the food you are eating or pour the water into the glass that you are drinking from?
That’s kind of hmm lazy if you ask me. And why am I saying that? Am I being the advocate of “Get all guys to cook” campaign? Naa not at all..
I used to live in England before, all on my own. It was a tough few years, considering the fact that I either had to eat out or make something myself. I opted for making more and more things myself. Yah sometimes the rice did turn out to be mountains of white stuff stuck together but after a while managed to make them totally separate hehe
All it required was a drive to the local market, and a few bags of groceries on the way back. Then onto the shared kitchen with an idea of what I am to make. Most of the times I would call mum in Norway to guide me through the process of making Pulao (brown rice) or Aalo Gobi (Potatoes and Cauliflower). To just say the least I can say that those few years I spent in England were one of the best learning experiences of my entire few years I have been on this earth.
Being away from family was not so much fun but the fact that I had to work my way through with only 100 pounds in my pocket to earning 35 000 pounds a year gave me the sense of being confident enough to not think about petty things like few of my lovely fellow male friends would say “Cooking is for girls” and things they are grown up with which might not be their fault because their parents or lovely mothers “teach them” to be that way.
Why am I blaming the mothers? well here is the reason. It’s ok to allow your mother to make the food once in a while, but does it mean that when you are capable of walking, talking, earning, selling, driving, etc etc you are too silly or lazy to be adding “cooking” into that list as well? Or is it that if you start cooking you will grow a ponytail and your friends will call you a “lady” instead?
I can very proudly say that maybe the values my mum injected in me helped me be what I am today. I don’t feel that girls should be the only ones cooking in the kitchen neither do I feel bad when I want to help washing up the dishes after a long day at work.. why would I?
So to get deep down to why some guys don’t like to cook or help along at home, below is a list of what I feel are the reasons.. you can add them in your comments too:-
- The guy since childhood has been given everything on the plate
- He has not been taught the feeling that it’s alright for you to help along
- He has been “taught” that kitchen is only for girls
- He has friends who are anti-cooking or have silly ideas that women are below them
- When the mother is away or no more, the guy continues same “thinking” with his wife
that now she will be feeding him as if he is a little baby
I remember when I was 6 that I used to help mum wash up the dishes at home in Pakistan and then continued to do so in Norway. Dad was quite helpful in that sense, since he loves cooking himself as well. So i would say all in all at this moment i can make a few things myself for me and my brothers at home (Since my parents are now in Saudi Arabia for a few weeks)
Just a few of the things I learnt:-
- Paratha
- Zarda (Sweet rice)
- Pulao (Brown rice)
- Aalo Gobi (Potatoes and Cauliflower)
- Bhindis (Ladyfingers)
- Biryani
- And a few other things that I saw mum make
But despite knowing how tough it is to be making something new for you every single day, don’t you as a guy (or a girl that doesn’t cook) think that it’s time to start respecting the females in your house who make it a HOME. Who spend hours and hours in the kitchen making something for you so you don’t starve because as I see it, some guys are still big babies. So maybe its time to grow out of that cocoon, remove the diaper and start being a MAN. And a man is not a man unless he realizes that the true value and respects the other gender like he wishes to be respected himself.
Search around for small and simple recipes. What’s the worst you would do? Burn the food? Well practice makes perfect and I am sure you will do well .. so what ya say? Wanna make something today?
June 21st, 2008 at 10:16 am
N hey I forgot to add this guys
any of you need easy recipes I wouldnt mind sharing them with you all becoz i always appreciate a man who can cook 
June 21st, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Nicely said bro, i hope all guys read n follow this example lol:) but jokes apart in todays day n age evn some girls dnt like to cook or r not good at it, like ehm me hehe well to be honest my story is vry similar to yours
mum used to teach me to cook things but although bein a girl i was never interested n never payed attention to the details really, but then i went to UK for 6 months n reality struck me hehe i started missing homecooked meals after a week, so i started making it at home slowly n at home i used to throw tantrums that i dont want to eat this/that etc n when i was there the most desirable thing for me was a simple homecooked roti n handi:) n as i started making it i started each n everything mum had taught me n realized that i can cook pretty well hehe if i want to…but now im back home so back to a realaxed mode hehe but atleast i knew how to n it helped me in the end atleast it saved my time, so what im tryin to say is, that there r even girls out there who are so busy with studies/careers that they neglect this area, but the fact is that one shud know these things, guy or girl doesnt matter!
June 22nd, 2008 at 2:07 pm
i like to eat but i can cook more than it. my mom teach me when i was child i was making tea fried pakora in ramdan time
June 22nd, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Ys iam agree with the fact “if u can eat, U can cook”….but in some countries there is just “eat & go” …Boys let everything on the table…But now the society is coming so modern & this fact is over…..now mens help womens for homework taks coz womens r working too so mens sometimes cooking for women
iam living with my parents, but sometimes my dad cooked for us & he give cooking course to my brother too :p
My brother like to making cake so saturday eating cake from my brother but now he is trying some recipes coz he wanna impress him wife…
So just to impress Ur grilfriend or Wife, boys forget to sentence “eat & go” & enter in the new word of “cook to impress ur dear one”
June 22nd, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Tnx God…in my family all can cookin n as well all home work…like bartan saff…jharu..pocha n n …wish Aalsi ppl ..ajj se shuru ho jao…never be late to learn…hai na?
June 22nd, 2008 at 3:03 pm
Kudos to you Wakas bhai for writing on this issue. Like Saanj di and Zubi said, in today’s day and age…it doesn’t sound right when a man can’t fend for himself and has to depend on a women to be able to eat. If you really look at the world’s most famous chefs, many of them are men. So that proves that men are infact in many ways better cooks than women.
In my opinion, when a man thinks it’s a women’s job..it’s because this is what society has put in their mind. I think cooking, cleaning, doing laundry is most definitely not just a women’s job. It is very much a man’s job as it is a woman’s.
My dad did not even lift a a finger before he moved to US and then had to fend for himself. That’s when he started to cook, he would call my mom back home (Pakistan) and she would walk him through the steps. Of course, it didn’t always turn out the way it should’ve but practice makes perfect. Today, I can proudly say that he can cook and overtime, he’s gotten really good. Same with my uncles who have lived abroad or away from home and had to learn to cook. Infact, during family get togethers they INSIST on cooking and giving the the ladies a day off. And of course, there are also those men in our family who don’t even pour themselves a glass of water. It’s such an issue if their mother/wife goes out of town or is sick.
I love to cook. If I’m bored, I will cook. I’ve always lived with my parents, never away from them but cooking is something my mom taught me at an early age so if there was ever a time when I had to be away or my mom was not feeling well, I did not have to go hungry. Because I’m a foodie and would not want to depend on someone to feed me, it was not hard for me to pick up on cooking and learn and value it.
We are no longer living in 1920′s..this is 2008…cooking, cleaning, doing laundry is no longer just a women’s job. It’s just as much a man’s job as it is a woman’s. I think no matter what we do, women will never be appreciated for her cooking or running a house because she does not go out to earn. And that’s sad because like you said, Wakas bhai, it’s the women who make a house a home. Leave the house to men, and it will be a mess. I think it’s high time that men start doing some cooking and learn to fend for themselves.
I always appreciate a man who cooks and fends for himself because he’s the MAN!
I hope men will learn from this post of yours. Thank you for bringing it up!
June 22nd, 2008 at 4:05 pm
Nice topic but unfortunately I don’t think some men will ever change. I think its the fault of the families and the culture they are brought up in. Usually men say they can do everything and also better than women, but when it comes to cooking and other chores in the home, they will not involve themselves in them. Men think that they are supposed to go out n earn… when they get home their mom/sister(s)/wife have to serve them dinner and do other chores for them. But in today’s world women go out to work, they sometimes even earn more than men and then come home and cook and also do everything else in the house.
Hope your post will change some men in this world!!
June 22nd, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Well I do realize the importance of what my mom does for me. It is just that I don’t like to cook. And when I am not in the mood I screw the whole thing. I think I just need to make cooking fun. And if I fail then there is always a second option : marry a cook =D yayyy.. Na just kidding.. Thanks for this ‘nasihat’ I will take it seriously and do something with it. Guess what I gonna cook meal for my mom tomorrow.. Hope it turns out well. And mothers!!!! Please don’t think that a man that cooks or does housework is a *less man* than the one who doesn’t! Biggest misconception in the desi culture..
Have fun cooking ;D
June 23rd, 2008 at 6:43 am
Hmmmmm
Reading this article and all the replies i actually there is actually not so much left for me to say hehe.. but hmmm quiet interesting topic.. As every1 above saying by cooking and doing hous work the “man” doesnt get less “man” how true!!! Something every man should understand and realize that If they can they can cook, if they can wear clean clothes they can do the laundry, simple as that! But Unfortunately not many “men” thinks this way and obviously thats coz the way they are brought up and teached my their lovely mums hmmmm…
Its very very simple that any guy or girl should and must learn how to cook and take care of themselves, coz sadly but true there are lots of girlss out there who do more “nakhre” than even guys when it comes to cooking
hehe… why? well simply coz they think its not so important and they will learn it when the “time” comes, when is that time? When they gets married? Well cooking is one thing any girl musttt know b4 marriage, coz if oki lets say the man can cook is she expecting him to cook for her when she herself has that kind of mindset that every man should do their work themselves, how unfair 
I would say If the man should cook at home then the girl should support him outside home as well (work), very fair enough…Coz this is definitely not right that the wife is at home all day and then the man comes home and we expect him to cook as well, if so then they should be doing everyhting equally each step of the way……
I remember at school when we had cooking lessons, not ones our teacher asked guys to leave the room coz she going to teach cooking oh oh
they were all right there with their apron on hehe and doing cooking and washing the dishes 
I know this much that those same guys would come home and cant lift a finger in kithcen coz they thinks thats a girlish work… Very Unfortunately teachers at home (Mothers) should be little bit more stricks, for their kids own good and happiness furture in life 
I personally would say that thou I can cook, coz i have learned it from since i were a little girl, thats another case I sometimes need recipe book
hehe… and I know that the man in my Life can cook very goood as well :shy: InshAllah.. still I would Love to cook for him and all his mum and dad his sis bros, and I would feel blessed if I can do so, coz thats just how I AM brought up… BUT I will never ever InshAllah teach my kids that “Kitchen and cooking” is for girls and “eating and ordering” is for guys.. no way! coz the main thing is to realize and understand the fact that by cooking or doing house work one should not feel ashamed…do it or not is another thing, when once the “men” ppl gets this fact in their head, the home will be heaven 
)) When two ppl who are head of the house, Hubby and Wife got the same values and the kind of same thinking abt this cooking and leading life thing within them, well only then they will be able to present kids with the mindset that there are no girl guy when it comes to learning cooking etc…
But Hmmmmmm dont you all think that girls kind of looks cute in kitchen
hehe Aham!
December 15th, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Tnx God…in my family all can cookin n as well all home work…like bartan saff…jharu..pocha n n …wish Aalsi ppl ..ajj se shuru ho jao…never be late to learn…hai na?