Jealousy eats you up alive..
Posted on 31. Aug, 2008
There have been numerous times in your life that might have held you by the neck and shook you from left to right leaving you totally confused and wondering “WHY DON’T I HAVE WHAT THE OTHER PERSON NEXT TO ME HAS?”
The very early stages of jealousy can be when you go back into your childhood. When another kid took your toys and you just couldn’t take it, your mum loved your other brother more than you and you couldn’t manage to grasp why that’s happening, in school the other kid sitting next to you might have a wonderful schoolbag while you couldn’t manage to get one and so on. Those are natural things that happen in that phase, but if they are carried over into the adult phase. That’s when things get out of hand. REALLY out of hand.
Jealousy eats us up alive, just like the title of this blog entry says. Because when we are jealous what we don’t see or in other words what we don’t want to see is someone else’s happiness, or someone else’s success.
There are lots of ways you can manage how to NOT be jealous. One needs to go deep into their soul to realize that if they are jealous of someone’s success of happiness, then they aren’t doing themselves any favor. The mind would get twisted ideas, and totally work the opposite of your success.
Because in the long run, the jealous person would be busier in feeling sorry for him/herself rather than doing anything constructive. As the time they spend in feeling bad could have been used to make their skills and personality shine like the brightest of stars in the darkest of skies.
Many people confuse envy with jealousy so below is the list of the differences as to how these terms really fit in:-
Jealousy involves:
* Being angry or very suspicious
* Fear of losing something or someone
* Being sad over loss or having self-esteem issues
* Being lonely or very uncertain in a situation
* Not trusting the other person
* Or just being scared of losing a loved one to someone else
Envy involves:
* When one is longing for something / someone
* Having the feelings for inferiority
* Being resentful of circumstances
* A strong desire to “want” a rival’s qualities
* Being motivated to improve in a field
So what is jealousy then
If you see above you will see a certain line between the two terms. But since I am talking about jealousy do you also see what I see? So much of self destruction in each and every line. There is no justification to be jealous of others. Yes, one can be a little scared of losing someone to some other person you are not so much friends with, BUT then again trust is the basic groundwork here.
How not to be jealous at work
- Appreciate other’s work when they succeed
- Be friendly with those you work with
- Do NOT hold back anything that might help someone at work
- Work on your own skills rather than putting down someone else
- Learn to talk only when you feel you have something good to say
- If you are good at what you do, your work will outshine.. but don’t over do it to
make fun of others who aren’t capable enough - Everyone is different, maybe what they have is made for them, and what you have is something they want.. thought about that?
How not to be jealous in a relationship
- Build your relationship on trust, because this is very important
- Separate lust from love, because there is a HUGE difference here. The first one leads to destruction if love isn’t involved
- Build up your self-esteem – The more confident you are about yourself, the more worthy you will feel of someone’s love.
- When you are going through a “jealousy” phase do you feel that a rule set by you has been broken? Does your partner know about that rule? If not then it’s time to get a pad out and share what both of you feel comfortable with and what things are to be followed. This will ensure that no further issues come up.
- Do you have a history of “being jealous”? If so then please get in touch with a specialist who can help you with that.
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7 Comments
Sire
31. Aug, 2008
Jealousy is definitely a curse. I’ve seen it tear even families apart. The problem is all in the mind as people think that others have it better than they do when in reality this may well be very far from the truth.
I know of wives who have left husbands thinking that the grass was greener on the other side only to find it wasn’t. If only they were able to talk things through and saw the problem for what it was, perhaps things would have been different. Yep, jealousy is definitely a curse.
Wakas Mir
31. Aug, 2008
Welcome Sire
That’s the thing isn’t it so many mess up their lives without focusing on the real reasons behind their emotions. Hope people learn how their emotions direct them before being directed by them.
Bholibhali
31. Aug, 2008
Very well written and a learning article Wakas
Jealousy can never be healthy, I have heard few times that there are healthy and unhealthy jealousy, and honestly speaking thats what i believed as well some time back…
BUT personally knowing few ppl with this “jealous” attitude i changed my mind, that No i don’t think there is anything called healthy jealousy
Its simply something that destroy everything slowly or sometimes in No time!
Let it be in Relationships or anywhere, jealousy is something that shud be cured at very 1st stage and its not very difficult to realize or get the symptoms of it either
But i think its not much abt being jealous, its abt how u react when one is suffering from jealousy… Coz we cant deny that every human beig has that emotion inside them, agree or disagree but its true 
What count is how every individual handle it and what they do abt it to not harm themselves and others by letting this “enemy emotion” taking control over them… 
))
We owe ourselves a healthy life, and thats not possible if we dont free ourselve from emotions that are deadly for us!
Thanx for all tips Wakas
)) be blessed!
Bholibhalis last blog post..Dhoobe to Dhoobe,Le bhi Dhoobe
Wakas Mir
31. Aug, 2008
Thx for commenting on this article Bholibhali.. I guess we all need to polish that skill of ours that leads to jealousy.. first comes believing in ourselves and rest comes easy
Sire
31. Aug, 2008
That’s the beauty about being a blogger. Perhaps someone who is a little confused about the whole thing just happens upon this post and then sees the light of day. Wouldn’t that be great?
-Latest post from Sires blog ..The Legend Of Dastardly Darryl’s Big Stainless Steel Balls
Wakas Mir
31. Aug, 2008
That would definitely be great Sire.. hope people see the light before the light in their life is turned off.. by themselves ..
Duffer
11. Sep, 2008
well written and a very important topic to think over. i have seen people to have the said qualities in them. jealousy in a family person can be guessed and prevention can be adopted but at work its very difficult to predict jealous people, resulting in damage to face. i think the jealousy in personality is natural, and one needs to be powerful enough with his will to change his nature. other people cant help anybody except to realize the victim, about his bad personality traits
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Yups duffer.. actually when one tells the jealous person about their “personality” issues they will just bite back as for them its normal na
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