There are lots of times one goes through situations where one uses white lies, but what for?
Maybe to not hurt the other person. But have you ever thought that truth can not be painful if it is the truth. In other words what I mean is that when you are saying the truth to someone you are actually doing yourself a big favor to avoid coming up with different stories along the way.
Most people would probably coat the truth a bit to avoid paining someone else but when we look at the deepest level, when we lie we tend to feel uneasy with ourselves at one point or the other. So in order to make sure that we are doing our best bit to keep our mind sane and atleast be truthful to ourselves we just have to be straight on truthful. There is just no other way around this.
Next time you feel that you just can’t tell the truth, do the opposite and do say it. You and the other person will go through a temporary drift but if both realize the value of truth nothing can go wrong.
How do you define being truthful? Have you ever said something else apart from the truth to avoid hurting someone?
December 20th, 2009 at 1:47 pm
You're right bro sometimes being blunt and telling the truth is necessary instead of falling up in more mess..But sometimes in rare cases we are forced to hide the truth from the person for different reasons…Maybe we know that person may not be able to accept the truth due to being hyper sensitive..sometime we hide house matters from the loved ones who stay far away from our homeland, hmmmm lilttle white lies for the sake of peace is acceptable..but not always just when its neccesary.
As for me being truthful is being totally transparent towards your loved ones and I expect the same from them too…There should'nt be any hidden skeletons in our kitty, but still we all are humans so sharing our lapses with our loved ones is the best way instead of getting it from the outer sources which will damage the relationship forever and ever.
December 20th, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Yups… I guess the fact that the other person is hypersensitive makes most people not say the truth. But in the end if one thinks about it, saying it as it is probably keeps us humans out of more issues later on. Better to just have it said and make the other person realize that there is nothing to hide or not say. Since all involved in the process should be aware that either its medical issues or whatever, its the way things are said. Since when one finds out some other way it makes things worse. So in families this happens a lot when kids lie and they are given a pat on the back when they say “no dad isn't home” while he's enjoying his tea in side. And so on. it starts from the small lies.
December 20th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
You're right bro sometimes being blunt and telling the truth is necessary instead of falling up in more mess..But sometimes in rare cases we are forced to hide the truth from the person for different reasons…Maybe we know that person may not be able to accept the truth due to being hyper sensitive..sometime we hide house matters from the loved ones who stay far away from our homeland, hmmmm lilttle white lies for the sake of peace is acceptable..but not always just when its neccesary.
As for me being truthful is being totally transparent towards your loved ones and I expect the same from them too…There should'nt be any hidden skeletons in our kitty, but still we all are humans so sharing our lapses with our loved ones is the best way instead of getting it from the outer sources which will damage the relationship forever and ever.
December 20th, 2009 at 3:37 pm
I think the best thing we can do is always say the truth….as Aarzoo sis said there r sometimes some reasons tht we have to hidden coz someone living far from us etc…i dont think tht a good reason to lie…coz we r living in reality not dreaming so everyone can face a reality abroad or at home…And soemtimes its more hurting to learnt the truth later…
Personaly i hate when someone lie to me so i think same for others they will hate i lie them…i never lie coz as my parents teach me a little lie will create thousand of others lies…and sometimes cant manage this thousand of lies…being honest is the best thing we can do for others n for ourselves too…
December 20th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Yups… I guess the fact that the other person is hypersensitive makes most people not say the truth. But in the end if one thinks about it, saying it as it is probably keeps us humans out of more issues later on. Better to just have it said and make the other person realize that there is nothing to hide or not say. Since all involved in the process should be aware that either its medical issues or whatever, its the way things are said. Since when one finds out some other way it makes things worse. So in families this happens a lot when kids lie and they are given a pat on the back when they say “no dad isn't home” while he's enjoying his tea in side. And so on. it starts from the small lies.
December 20th, 2009 at 4:37 pm
I think the best thing we can do is always say the truth….as Aarzoo sis said there r sometimes some reasons tht we have to hidden coz someone living far from us etc…i dont think tht a good reason to lie…coz we r living in reality not dreaming so everyone can face a reality abroad or at home…And soemtimes its more hurting to learnt the truth later…
Personaly i hate when someone lie to me so i think same for others they will hate i lie them…i never lie coz as my parents teach me a little lie will create thousand of others lies…and sometimes cant manage this thousand of lies…being honest is the best thing we can do for others n for ourselves too…
December 20th, 2009 at 7:21 pm
yes let the truth be told..unless it costs an arm and leg…..
December 20th, 2009 at 7:24 pm
just ask those who lost their arm and leg…
December 20th, 2009 at 7:25 pm
Nice one . since that's how it works, one lie just gives birth to a million more
December 20th, 2009 at 7:28 pm
lies in any form can never help ultimately the truth always comes out, so why take support of lies to save anyone from getting hurt, if we saved them today , tomorrow will hurt them more. they may be upset for with u for some time, but at the end of the day they will realize what u did was for their betterment.
letting lies will always haunt us too, so we will be loosing sleep on that.
one truth is better then 10 lies.
December 20th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
Hmm… I think one should try to be straight forward and tell the truth to the other person, but sometimes telling the truth is just not the best option. The other person might be going through hell, and then that one truth might drive that person towards a nervous breakdown…
Therefore, one should first analyse the seriousness of the situation… And if the situation is way too serious, an innocent lie won't hurt if limited to a certain extent… if one lie leads to the next one and that to the next one, etc, then that is not the best thing…
I think sometimes it is also useful to tell the truth in pieces… So don't tell the whole truth right away, but tell it in small digestable bits…
December 20th, 2009 at 8:21 pm
yes let the truth be told..unless it costs an arm and leg…..Oh I was wondering if u can relocate me from Kuwait to USA as u can see it in shoutbox..I never lived there but have been there..
December 20th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
just ask those who lost their arm and leg…
December 20th, 2009 at 8:25 pm
Nice one . since that's how it works, one lie just gives birth to a million more
December 20th, 2009 at 8:28 pm
lies in any form can never help ultimately the truth always comes out, so why take support of lies to save anyone from getting hurt, if we saved them today , tomorrow will hurt them more. they may be upset for with u for some time, but at the end of the day they will realize what u did was for their betterment.
letting lies will always haunt us too, so we will be loosing sleep on that.
one truth is better then 10 lies.
December 20th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
The Triple Filter:
During the golden Abbasid period, one of the scholars in Baghdad, the capital of Muslim caliphate at that time, was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem.
One day an acquaintance met the great scholar and said,
“Do you know what I just heard about your friend?
Scholar: Hold on a minute, before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test.
The Man: Triple Filter Test?
Scholar: That's right, before you talk to me about my friend it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say.
Scholar continued: That's why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?
The Man: No, actually I just heard about it and …
Scholar: All right, so you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?
The Man: No, on the contrary…
Scholar: So, you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left:
Scholar continued: The filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?
The Man: No, not really.
Scholar: Well, if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?
Quran:
Surah 49 Al-Hujurat Ayah 12 :
O you who believe! Avoid much suspicions, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah (God). Verily, Allah is the One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful.
Post by: Ashu
December 20th, 2009 at 9:10 pm
Hmm… I think one should try to be straight forward and tell the truth to the other person, but sometimes telling the truth is just not the best option. The other person might be going through hell, and then that one truth might drive that person towards a nervous breakdown…
Therefore, one should first analyse the seriousness of the situation… And if the situation is way too serious, an innocent lie won't hurt if limited to a certain extent… if one lie leads to the next one and that to the next one, etc, then that is not the best thing…
I think sometimes it is also useful to tell the truth in pieces… So don't tell the whole truth right away, but tell it in small digestable bits…
December 20th, 2009 at 9:49 pm
The Triple Filter:
During the golden Abbasid period, one of the scholars in Baghdad, the capital of Muslim caliphate at that time, was reputed to hold knowledge in high esteem.
One day an acquaintance met the great scholar and said,
“Do you know what I just heard about your friend?
Scholar: Hold on a minute, before telling me anything I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test.
The Man: Triple Filter Test?
Scholar: That's right, before you talk to me about my friend it might be a good idea to take a moment and filter what you're going to say.
Scholar continued: That's why I call it the triple filter test. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?
The Man: No, actually I just heard about it and …
Scholar: All right, so you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my friend something good?
The Man: No, on the contrary…
Scholar: So, you want to tell me something bad about him, but you're not certain it's true. You may still pass the test though, because there's one filter left:
Scholar continued: The filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my friend going to be useful to me?
The Man: No, not really.
Scholar: Well, if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?
Quran:
Surah 49 Al-Hujurat Ayah 12 :
O you who believe! Avoid much suspicions, indeed some suspicions are sins. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah (God). Verily, Allah is the One Who accepts repentance, Most Merciful.
Post by: Ashu
December 22nd, 2009 at 2:03 pm
A part from a post from my blog on truth. (I hope that you do not mind if I post this brother Wakas, it has to do with truth)
“Beware of lying, even if it is only once, as this will open the door widely for further lying; He who lies once will lose his position and trust in the eyes of the people. Ziyad, who was a governor of Iraq, said in a speech: “The lies of a person will eventually become well-known. If you find out that I lied even once then you are free to disobey me; and If you hear that have I told a lie then be certain that I must have told other lies.”
Something to end of with Umar (RA) mentioned Rasulullah (SAW) saying: “The thing from which I fear for you the most is the knowledgeable hypocrite.” Umar (RA) was then asked: “How can a hypocrite be knowledgeable?” Umar (RA) answered: “He speaks with wisdom but acts with injustice.” This should make us ever more aware that with knowledge one should be careful in what ever we might do, or say.”
All relations of men with each other, the whole life of the community, depend on faithfulness to truth. Lies are shackles: they complicate life, requiring ever more lies in their wake. Every lie brings with it the very heavy burden of “keeping the story straight” forever into the future. The truth, on the other hand, may not be easy to bear, or easy to tell, but it’s always simple. You just tell it like it is.
December 22nd, 2009 at 3:03 pm
A part from a post from my blog on truth. (I hope that you do not mind if I post this brother Wakas, it has to do with truth)
“Beware of lying, even if it is only once, as this will open the door widely for further lying; He who lies once will lose his position and trust in the eyes of the people. Ziyad, who was a governor of Iraq, said in a speech: “The lies of a person will eventually become well-known. If you find out that I lied even once then you are free to disobey me; and If you hear that have I told a lie then be certain that I must have told other lies.”
Something to end of with Umar (RA) mentioned Rasulullah (SAW) saying: “The thing from which I fear for you the most is the knowledgeable hypocrite.” Umar (RA) was then asked: “How can a hypocrite be knowledgeable?” Umar (RA) answered: “He speaks with wisdom but acts with injustice.” This should make us ever more aware that with knowledge one should be careful in what ever we might do, or say.”
All relations of men with each other, the whole life of the community, depend on faithfulness to truth. Lies are shackles: they complicate life, requiring ever more lies in their wake. Every lie brings with it the very heavy burden of “keeping the story straight” forever into the future. The truth, on the other hand, may not be easy to bear, or easy to tell, but it’s always simple. You just tell it like it is.
December 22nd, 2009 at 3:16 pm
I believe that the conscience is that connection we have with God. When a person starts lying and is a habitual liar the conscience stops bothering them or they don't feel too bad about the lies. At that point they lose all connection to God.
Truth catches up sometime or the other…white lies or not. The damage done , the trust broken takes a long time to be undone so its just not worth lying just to buy a little time.
December 22nd, 2009 at 4:16 pm
I believe that the conscience is that connection we have with God. When a person starts lying and is a habitual liar the conscience stops bothering them or they don't feel too bad about the lies. At that point they lose all connection to God.
Truth catches up sometime or the other…white lies or not. The damage done , the trust broken takes a long time to be undone so its just not worth lying just to buy a little time.
December 22nd, 2009 at 4:51 pm
Yups rightly said.. it's the connection that when messed up messes lots of lives.
December 22nd, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Nice one sis.. thx for sharing
December 22nd, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Liked the triple filter.. I think one can learn lots from it
December 22nd, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Well depends how big the pieces should be when one is choosing what to say and when isn't it..
December 29th, 2009 at 12:20 am
I honestly can say, i hve lied–
well i think sometimes one lies not to hide the truth but to save someone's life from falling a part. im against the beneficial lies, that when one lies for self just because there is some kind of benefit…
but when its keep someone's life safe.
January 10th, 2010 at 2:04 am
A few days back I was wondering what the worst thing would be if I stopped lying. Your post reignites my wistfulness to stop lying-so thank you for that.
January 10th, 2010 at 2:06 am
Glad its working out for u
thx for commenting
January 10th, 2010 at 12:24 am
A few days back I was wondering what the worst thing would be if I stopped lying.
Your post reignites my wistfulness to stop lying-so thank you for that.
January 10th, 2010 at 1:48 am
Sounds great
and thx for commenting..
January 10th, 2010 at 2:32 am
rightly said though truth makes the best of friend enemy, but ultimately that same friend will be very happy
u have saved him or her from some grave thing which would mess up the other persons life.
path to truth is difficult. but in the end it wins.
Truth is a river that is always splitting up into arms that reunite. Is-landed between the arms the inhabitants argue for a lifetime as to which is the main river by Cyril Connolly
January 10th, 2010 at 10:27 am
One never hurt by speaking the truth
Lying on the other hand will hurt immense N bring along disaster, I’ve seen around what damage N disaster lies that are just to protect your dear ones can can do. N from what I’ve learned: It’s simply not worth it, honesty might hurt for a while but lies would kill the trust which is the basic foundation to any relation. God bless 
January 10th, 2010 at 11:46 am
Ya dua.. Saying the truth i guess is the only option isn’t it