Let me have another IPhone or why not a brand new PC.. Yes then life would be amazing. Or would it? Maybe a better car could do the trick… But i doubt that it would make any difference…or maybe it will give me a feeling of being loved? More money, better job?? What if i spend some money on a better wardrobe?

Its quite simple formula to follow here. The moment things start owning you, rather than you owning them, that’s when things go wrong.

Absolutely none of the above can get you the feeling of being loved. Cultivate your relationship with your loved ones rather than things that can’t respond or react.

Remember things don’t love, people do.

I read an article where someone was claiming that she should be seen as a Norwegian just because she was born in Norway. She had Norwegian friends and despite having parents from Pakistan, everything else in her life makes her feel Norwegian.

The Norwegian feeling

What is the feeling of being a Norwegian? Is it connected to the culture, the skin color or is it the habits or nature of how an ethnic Norwegian is? Now when I say the nature, I am not saying anything negative, but instead I am trying to put focus on the way a Norwegian child is brought up, the way an ethnic Norwegian family sees various values in things that might be different in a Pakistani culture. With different likes/dislikes, maybe other methods of upbringing than a Pakistani family would have managed, and so many other things.

I personally don’t feel that a Pakistani no matter if he/she is born here or not can ever be a Norwegian in the true sense. Yes, you can have a Norwegian passport but you will never be a Norwegian. There is a saying in Pakistan “A crow that walks the walk of a swan usually forgets his own walk as well”

What’s the solution?

Be who you are! There is no one else you can manage to be apart from your true self. Now this message obviously is going out to all who are living all over the world. If you are not proud of your heritage, your race, your color, then tick off the line on your list that says “Others will respect me”. When I mention “proud” I am not saying you are to feel you are better than the ethnic Norwegians (or Americans if you are in US), but I mean respect you heritage, and don’t go crazy in trying to adopt the thought process which will make you a totally different person.

I see Pakistani kids in Afro styles acting as Jamaicans, some tatooting themselves like crazy to act out as thugs. In other words being totally the opposite of what their parents brought with them from Pakistan. Slowly but gradually kids these days are falling into the trap of losing their own identity, and then they cry over spilled milk as if someone else is to blame.

Identity crisis
No one is to blame when it comes to your own identity crisis. I personally feel 100% Pakistani inside out. But since I live in Norway, I abide by the rules, pay taxes, and do everything possible so no one is affected negatively by anything I do but instead feels that I am a good part of the community. So remember, to have a healthy community, you don’t need to become like the rest, be who you are and be unique.

I have come across lots of Pakistanis and Muslims in the media who feel as if there whole life depends on the change they have to make in order to put bread on the table. No, my friends, you can still be who you are and get the job of your dreams. If everyone started to act out as the majority of those living in a country, then what’s so special about you?

Respect your culture, your heritage, your values and others will respect you

The world changed for lots of people in Norway after 22 July 2011. For others around the world it’s the same. 77 people lost their lives due to a man who just wasn’t so convinced that immigration can be seen as something positive at all. Since that day till now lots of people have had a change of mindset, while others still have the same thoughts about anyone who doesn’t look or talk like them. Is this what the human race has come to? That for a person to be accepted he has to act and be just like the other person? What makes a white person better than a black one? In reality it’s not the color, it’s how they talk and respect one another despite the difference. When both hands are bleeding, the blood is still red. How amazing would it be if that’s the color we were known by..

Here is a little interview I gave to Radio Islam International a while back. It was about the situation in Norway after 22 July 2011.

Click here to tune into the radio interview

This is what most of the people say when they are starting their conversation after a sigh, which sounds like as if someone has taken all the air out of their lungs.

Remember that you are living in a world where billions of people die just because they can’t manage to get clean water, let alone a few grains of food. You might be one of those lucky people who can afford internet, might be sitting on a chair, under a roof which doesn’t leak when it rains. You have absolutely a billion reasons to be happy about. But yes, does that solve your “i hate my job” thing? Maybe not, or maybe it does, it’s just the way you look at it.

Here are a few things to “love” your job:-

• Apply for something else, something that you “love” doing
• Do more at work, because most of the times one hates a job because one has nothing to do
• At a time where finance crisis might hit again, be thankful for what you have and hang in there
• If you are in a job you hate, and been there for a few years with same mindset, I would never want you working for me, but ask yourself would you hire yourself?
• Do some courses, go on seminars to learn more about your field. The only person who’s stopping you from learning, is you.

If the above few tips don’t help. Then visit the local unemployment center where you live, and see how people struggle to get even a few hours job to manage their day.

I don’t recall a single job I hated, i liked them all in one way or the other. Because it was either that or being unemployed. So the choice is yours. If you want to move up the ladder, give your best and as far as I remember when I used to work as a sales agent at a tiny shop in Norway when employers didn’t see the potential in me, I kept applying until a few did. And I have never looked back.

I do recall and thank God for the moments I have managed to go through, but one thing is for sure… I love all my jobs, because they put bread and butter on my table. *

* Norway is going through a butter-crisis these days, so maybe this line won’t fit

I often wonder what makes a racist person tick, and to be honest I guess everything and everyone that isn’t like them makes them go nuts.

A racist person usually uses his race card whenever he has to prove a point, and most of the times or almost all of the times, the race card is used to ridicule the other person’s feelings and emotions. I am sure if the laws in some western countries are really followed then lots of such people will be charged for psychologically torturing people around them who are just interested in being left alone so they can do their daily chores.

Often it’s shown in the media that Muslims are rude and uncivilized people, but never has anyone bothered to really see what a practicing Muslim is to be like. Often we hear people say “I know how it feels when someone makes fun of your religion or your background”, to be very honest, no one would know unless you are from the same background, that’s the fact.

How to fight racism?

Let’s talk constructive.

• Teach your children to respect others despite what their background is, remember you will be thankful you did, because children who see their parents make fun of others are usually not someone children can look up to, maybe at childhood but when they grow older, they will realize what hate-speech is. So stop sooner than later.
• It’s not wrong to read the news, but remember that most news channels and sites are now tabloids who are just interested in advertisement income, sadly not looking at the after affects of their news.
• If you have hard feelings about someone who is from a different country, first ask yourself if its really worth it that you are holding on to feelings only due to some news channels? Is it a personal experience, then remember you can’t hate the whole group based on one person. To look at it constructively ask yourself if everyone should hate you because you belong to the same background as a serial rapist?

Being racist is not cool! Click on “recommend” below to share this on Facebook!

This is probably one of the most difficult words one can say. In life we come across people who just by trying to be nice say yes to everything. They fail to realize that before pleasing others it’s important that they please themselves first. And by that I mean just what I said. Pleasing oneself is absolutely impossible if what you are doing for others is making you miserable.

Examples:-

• When someone asks you to do something for them and you KNOW that you have no capacity to do the task, please say no. It’s not rude to say so, but it’s worse when you can’t do the task when you have no time to do it.
• Say no to give yourself a break, because no matter how you look at it one can really exhaust oneself by pleasing other people

The idea behind this tiny post is not to tell you to say no to everything. I myself love helping others, and usually hardly ever say no. But I have my own way of saying a kind no to something I can’t do. Although we can all be better at it if we try.

So summing it up:-

• Be nice and kind, but learn to say no
• Be sweet but learn to realize where your limit is
• Be helpful but realize if something you are saying yes to is even possible without someone else’s help

I find it very unreasonable when I see people around me trying to look down at someone just because they are different or belong to a background which the media pretends is evil and the root of all the wars around the world. I find it as an excuse to look beyond the things that can be done to better a situation that is not going to get better before we all work together.

Negative people will stay negative

Well not always, but most of the times negative people have a surrounding that’s feeding them with such thoughts. A person who hates someone just because of their background is getting “fed” by the media to hate them even more, and in that whole process I find the media has the same amount of blame as the one who is hating others.

How can that be changed?

Journalists need to be taught about various cultures rather than just growing up in a society that hates “different” people and working at places where they are responsible for millions of mindsets being set about a certain group. They need to get some proper education in religious studies and be aware that what they say is not only read, but creates conflicts that usually end up like the one in Oslo on 22nd July 2011.

What is a healthy society?

In my view it’s a society which respects and realizes that certain groups are here to stay, now I am talking about countries where immigrants are living and working day and night becoming an important part of that land while contributing to its safety. It’s heart breaking seeing posts and news articles where day and night people are posting comments trying to show their hate towards certain groups just because of a few nutcases who don’t care to follow their religion properly.

Norway is being hit hard by a wave of rapes. So I guess it’s probably time to bring back the article I wrote a few months back derived from an interview with rapists in a prison in US. It was an article I found online and I gathered all the tips into a 10 point list. 

Click for the list

Hi everyone, I have in the past few days been very much into Speed Reading. A concept that allows you to improve your reading speed. I thought that maybe making something for others might help them enjoy this technique as well.

The software I have had developed allows you to adjust the “words per minute” and “words at a time”, plus other settings.  I am just adding this post to give you access to a FREE version of the windows application of the software.

The program comes in two versions.

1. Web-based version = http://www.WakReader.com

2. Windows version = http://www.wakreader.com/free_download.php

You can try the software on the web-based version, and then download a copy for your PC. Hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed having it made according to sketched out specs.

I recall living in Pakistan the first 8 years of my life with my mother and grandmum, my dad was in Norway who came only once or twice in the whole duration to see us. Yes, it was hell for a kid who used to cry every night wondering where his dad is when he used to see others playing with their fathers. Mum was a strong person, may God give her place in Paradise, ameen sum ameen.

The experience taught me one thing and that was, that I give my kid as much time as I can. Money comes and goes but if the time is gone I can never bring it back. I wouldn’t ever wish for my kid to grow up wondering why I never gave him time when I could, this is one thing that every parent should work on.

Why is it important?
Well first of all, if you have had a baby then not giving it time is very unfair. You brought it to the world, so what’s the excuse of not showing him/her your love? And on the other hand I think the most important reason for giving kids time early in life is, that you can focus on injecting in them nice values of humanity and anything that you missed out in your childhood, just program the kid to be an individual who everyone loves to be around. Show him that materialism is not the thing to go, but the values that lie in the heart of people.

You will thank yourself when your child grows up and gives you their time and love. I wish my mum was alive, so I could give her even more time than what I did. I am sure I wouldn’t have repaid a single night’s pain of labor she went through even if I had taken care of her till the Judgment day.