I have done lots of shows about families and relationships on Crazefm.com and have come to one conclusion which most of you already know maybe. That living in a joint family system is something that not everyone can manage.

There are plus points and minuses, the plus points are usually not that many as the negative ones. A family where there is just one head of the family a mother or a father left that family usually can’t manage that well having all children under them, as I think. Reason being that everything comes under that one person, who is either the father in law or mother in law.

Situations usually end up being bad when they don’t realize that decisions they make affect everyone and decisions married couples make affect the whole family.

What do you think about joint families? Because as far as I know there is no such set rule that one has to live in a joint family to survive…

There are lots of families where the eldest bro is usually taken into consideration whenever an issue comes up or whenever something is to be sorted out. Sadly that’s not the case in all families.

How do you see the situation when the eldest bro is not even given the position or respect as the eldest bro not only from a father who knows that after him only the eldest son will manage the whole family. And has anyone of you had that experience.. do share

Dear Mum,

I tried my best to put an end to the pain that the cancer was causing you. I did try my best as  a son that atleast from me you get no complaints. From the time we found out about your cancer till the last breath you took while I held your hand, God knows that I didn’t let the hope die that you will be ok. You were in pain but you were atleast here. But then I figured out that If I love you so much why would I want to see you in pain because that would be unfair and selfish when we know your final destination is heaven and you will be lot happier there. So why would we keep on wanting you to suffer every single second of the day.

As your eldest son I will make it my mission that everything I do on earth now will give you rewards in heaven. I will take care of my little baby sister and promise to be there for her through thick and thin. I promise to always guide my little brothers through every path of life and I promise to never ever say anything that hurts dad in anyway.

I tried my best not to cry when we were lowering your body in your new home. The moment your soul left your body on 26.10.2009  I saw that you had a very peaceful smile. Those that wrapped you in kafan also said we have no words to describe how radiant you looked and your skin was as fresh as if you were hmmm ok. But mum.. you are ok na. I mean I know you are, because now that you are in paradise you will have no pain, no injections to wait for. Now you can enjoy the beautiful jannat-ul-firdaus that you deserve.

I got my jannat by being there with you through each step, and being lucky enough to give you the few water drops that were the last thing that went in through the lips that always asked God for our happiness and success.

Allah ji, I got a tiny request. Can you possibly not make me neighbor of my mum up there but let me live with her instead in the same palace she is living in? hmm

But it never is is it? When we look around we kind of feel others should be like us, and when I say others I mean siblings, brothers and sisters around us who might not sometimes see what you are seeing. And being a caring brother I try my best to show them the right path. But then again, don’t I have a life of my own. Oh yes LOTS of things to do otherwise, like:-

• Taking care that Mum gets the right treatment in Hospital
• Taking care that little sis gets a balanced routine by taking her to her little friends to play and to the cinema so her little innocent mind doesn’t get messed by looking at mum being so ill hmm
• Making sure that little brothers don’t get in to trouble
• Giving them anything they want whenever they ask for it
• Trying to fix things at home that sometimes no one else at home cares to worry about
• Trying to tell the brothers to give more n more time to mum so she feels that you want to be around her because she is the reason you guys are here..

And tons n tons more, so I was wondering that the caring nature that I was brought up with by mum isn’t present in some of the brothers. So why is it so? Is my connection with my mother stronger since I lived my first 10 years with her seeing her sacrificing so much for me being away from dad 10 years? Is it that which is enough for me to give my life for her? hmm

What do you guys think? Do suggest your views as to your connection with your parents, either mother or father and what is the reason why you feel that certain way..

thanks for reading