We are often faced with a dilemma that what we say, we don’t do ourselves. What we preach, we don’t practice, and what we believe is the truth, we don’t share it. It happens, it’s what humans do, it’s how we are built, but does that mean we HAVE to just follow this way of thinking and we can’t change for the better?
Can we not just be the kind of a person who we portray to others as the perfect human being, the perfect hubby, the perfect father, the perfect brother? What is stopping us from doing so?
I often listen to various scholars and one of them Sulaiman Moola said something very funny yet it was something we all should learn from. He says that since I got married, my wife has stopped listening to me. Since he talks a lot about various amazing topics in deen. He asked her why she used to listen to him before marriage, and what changed now? HE said that she responded saying “I know you now” – Meaning, she knows he puts up a show in other words, although I deeply respect him I really feel in a way he nailed it with that incident.
Most of us who talk about raising children, have problems ourselves. Where we used to talk about a happy couple and how to be the best hubby, we struggle to know ourselves as to how we can become one.
So how do we change all that?
First, you and I have to realize that we are not perfect. Then we have to realize that everything can and is programmable and can be practiced and perfected. If I want to be a better hubby I just need to be a better listener. If I want to be a better father, I just need to be with my kids more often than I am. If I want to be better at anything, I need to give it time.
Yes, Time! That’s exactly what we all need to focus on. That’s exactly what we all need in order to make things work. Just like we spend time on a skill to perfect it, why can’t we see being a better hubby or a father as a skill to perfect? Those females reading this, why can’t you use the time to perfect that one “skill” that makes you lot more attractive to your hubby? Is there something you do that he doesn’t like? Guys! Is there something you do that she doesn’t like, or your kids don’t appreciate? Why not stop and re-program yourself in order to be the best version of yourself.
Let’s start from today, let’s start from now!