I know this post wouldn’t do the justice to the injustice you are going through by the zionists. But still I would like to share with you my feelings. I know that my Prophet Muhammad pbuh had said that my Ummah is like a body, if one part hurts, the other parts of the body also feel the pain. I am so sorry that despite feeling the pain, I kept on taking pain killers to avoid sensing it to the extent I should have. I am sorry for the little babies you have lost due to the bombs from Israel. I am sorry that each time any thing happened in Gaza, I started blaming the Muslim leaders and forgot as to what was it I had done to help you out of this situation. I am sorry that whenever a tragedy occurred, I started wondering why the media isn’t doing anything, while majority of them are trying to survive by writing anything to make more money out of your tragedy.
I am sorry that I thought that just by sending money I was doing my bit. I am sorry that I didn’t realize that food doesn’t bring peace, it just fills your stomach. What good is the money that would put bread on your table, but not bring back the people who would sit around it. I am sorry that after watching the videos of small children blown into pieces, I still go back to my normal life disregarding them as something that happens too often, as if that would make it totally normal. I am sorry that I haven’t prayed enough for you my brothers and sisters, I am sorry that each time I lifted my hands for dua, I prayed for my family, my well being and forgot that somewhere in Palestine, ummah of my Prophet Muhammad pbuh is awaiting the blessings of that one dua I could have sent over.
I am sorry for the homes and land you have lost, that belonged to your forefathers. I am sorry for the times when I wasted my time on discussing with people who want to wipe you from the face of the earth rather finding ways to find you a place to live, a place you can breath peacefully just like the rest of us. I am so sorry that you have to live in a time when people who support you are hanged in public as inhumane devils, while those that openly spew hate against you are hailed as heroes. You all deserve a place in our hearts, and we should all by all means possible, do every single thing in our power to bring an end to the occupation that started with your genuine love and care for others. When you offered your land to those that have now gone against you and claim it as their own.
I am sorry for just standing in a few demonstrations and shouting “Free Palestine”, thinking it would free you. I am sorry for being so naive as to thinking I could bring any change by just joining a few online discussions and adding a few sad smiles after watching a video of a small baby boy who lost half of his head in an attack. I am sorry that my heart didn’t burst into pieces seeing the father of that baby trying to wake that baby up telling him he brought him a toy, not realizing that his angel is now in Jannah.
I am sorry, I haven’t done enough to be the brother I claim to be. I am afraid that on the day of judgement, you will point me out from a crowd and say, “There he is!!! He didn’t stop the injustice with his hands, neither with his tongue, nor thought of it as being anything bad, Allah swt he didn’t do enough to help us out, he saw my little baby die in front of his eyes and he didn’t do or say anything. He saw my father being killed in front of him and he kept quiet, and when he saw me and my mother put to sleep forever, he reacted as if nothing happened”
I am sorry my brothers and sisters, I truly am. I am sure that tears flowing down my cheeks aren’t going to bring back your loved ones, I am sure that each drop that comes out of our eyes for you isn’t going to breath life back into your newborn baby or aged father. But I can promise you that there won’t be a prayer which will be left without mentioning you in it, and there won’t be a possibility lost which can make life easier for you.
I am just sorry for not doing enough. And my Allah swt knows that I am capable of a lot more.
Please forgive me for all those years of negligence, and remember me in your duas that Allah swt gives me and all us Muslims the courage to go out of our way to come in between you and the heartless Zionists.